So here it is – the post my fan has been waiting for- DIY Sodastream Recipes.
I’ve been a molecular mixologist for some time, ever since I first tried mixing Cherry Cola, Lime Juice, Vodka and brake fluid in a drink that the New York Times’ dubbed “My legs! Call an ambulance – I can’t feel my f*&king legs.”
Taking inspiration from the good people over at the internet (read: straight up stealing ideas and presenting them as my own), I present the following road test of DIY sodastream recipes.
Clementine and Pomegranate Soda
The recipe says to combine:
- ½ part clementine juice
- ½ part pomegranate juice
- 1 part simple syrup
- 4 parts soda water.
Firstly, the only clementine that I know of is that of a philandering wife of a prospector. Mining’s a lot like prospecting and wives are just women so I headed down to the local high school to ask for the juice of a female minor. Once I’d made bail I decided to forego this recipe and have a glass of vodka mixed with nutella, a little drink I call “Parole Violation”.
Lemon Basil Soda
- 1 part lemon juice
- 1 part basil simple syrup
- 4 parts soda water
one can make a delightful drink that tastes like the cough drop you found at the bottom of your pocket with the hair on it. I’d rate this drink four and a half stars, but given there are over 18 stars in the known universe, this is a pretty low score. Also half a star is technically a planet.
Lavender and Lemon Soda
- 1 Cup Water
- 1 Cup Sugar
- 2 T Fresh Lavender
- 1 Cup Lemon Juice.
- 1 Litre Soda
Initially buoyed by the floral notes this drink promised, the experience quickly became unhinged when I couldn’t procure fresh lavender. Being the resourceful person I am, I quickly realised that it is only the perfume notes that define this drink and as such, a substitution could be possible.
Having recovered, a New Car smell deodorising pine tree was a poor substitute.
SO MANY CHOICES....
When I got to this recipe, I’d had a couple more “Parole Violations” and zoned out for a bit. Basically I poured cream into the Sodastream bottle and pressed the button. On it’s own, it lacked the volume and flavour desired, but once mixed with a leftover Parole Violation, the drink took on a whole new mouthfeel and flavour profile (which are words that Webster defines as “Pertaining to, or demonstrating, the w@nkish nature of the orator”).
This is now my new favourite drink and so I named it the “Habitual Offender”. 17/18 stars.
Classic Chocolate Egg Cream
I’d rather drink man cream.
Next up: 6 more Habitual Offenders….